I probably will be shutting this blog down soon, as I will be a pastor of a church again. I will blog from my pastor’s column.

Spring is a great time for a new job assignment. Nature has a way of bringing out the rhythms of life, death, new life. Trees are budding, color is brought back into the fold.

What lies dormant within us may also come to fruition. I remember well my first appointment as a pastor in 1992. I was in seminary and a little sad about leaving what was coined as ‘a spiritual womb’. The chair of the pastor parish relations called and said, “I know you are sad to leave friends there. But I want you to know, you have friends here waiting for you who will soon meet you.” That went a long way. I feel that way now as members of the parish are calling me and emailing welcoming someone they have not yet met. As I completed my first year as a pastor a member said, “I am going to call you blossom, because I have seen you bloom.”

After 3 years of exclusively visiting the sick and dying, I will move back into a setting where at times I will experience birth and baptisms and weddings and transitions in the living. We have had a long hard winter in many places in our world this year. In our spiritual winter seasons when parts of who we are go into hibernation, and fallow parts of our souls seem to have no activity, God is at work. I read a book someone recommended to me this week called: Open Secrets by Richard Lischer. He is a Lutheran pastor who writes of his experience in a small town church. He quoted in one chapter something I remembered from memorizing a poem in high school. Although he used a different translation, I immediately recognized it. I never even remembered the source. He noted it is from Canterbury Tales Prologue. The version I remember is:

“When in April the sweet shower falls

 piercing the drought of March to the root

and all the veins are bathed in licour of such power

bringing about the engendering of the flower.”

 If you have had some lean years in which God did not feel present and the spiritual desert lead you to doubt your faith; may the rains of April and spring pour down on you as you bloom into new life.

I was in an elevator the other day with a 2 yr old and his mother. I said, “hello” to the little guy. He looked up at me with wide eyes and exclaimed, “I am on the up and down!!!”  The mother explained she had not yet taught him the word elevator. 

All of the sudden my ride to the 4^th floor became an exciting journey on the up-and-down. Seeing life through the eyes of a child brings life to the ordinary. It helps us enjoy the moment if we are willing to be swept away by their joy.

 Often I am on my way somewhere. And I forget to enjoy the journey. Many years ago in a world not so different from ours, only with less gadgets, God inspired people to wait. The book of James describes patience by how a farmer waits for rain. Farmers know how to wait. They have to. They cultivate the soil and they wait.

 We are all on our way somewhere. Some are waiting for a baby to be born. No wonder they call it expecting.  When they were pregnant Mary, the mother of Jesus went to see Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, and they found they gave each other confidence that these babies were worth the waiting. Some are waiting for an operation. Some are waiting for recovery. Some are waiting for a pay check. Maybe we are waiting for an apology. We wait for an awakening.

 Perhaps in the meantime we can enjoy the ride on the UP-and-Down.

Jonette Gay

Valentine’s Day, what a lovely day to … eat chocolate. I noticed love is in the air on Valentines day. Being in love makes flowers smell better, it makes the air taste clearer, sounds are all part of the ambiance.

 During December (or even earlier these days) some sing a song, “There’s a song in the air” or “its beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” I know it is February and I don’t want to alarm any of you with Christmas reminders or anxieties it seems to produce during the tyranny of the season. I heard a comedian who is not Christian say, “How long does it take you people to shop!?” It does seem to evolve around commerce and so it is with valentines paraphernalia.

 I’m talking about the feeling in the air when love is present. It give us a different perspective on the mundane. Everything we do seems, OK. The opposite can happen with loss. Remember the song by Skeeter Davis ?:

Why do the birds go on singing
Why do the stars glow above
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

 We are capable of opening ourselves to this kind of love.  Prayer can be a time we don’t simple ask for things, but we welcome the love God is trying to freely give us. He doesn’t force it. He courts us.

 The Song of Songs (or also known as the Song of Solomon) is a beautiful love story written in the Bible. It is one of only 2 books in the Bible where God is not mentioned. It is filled with lovely metaphor. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine. ..Ah you are beautiful my love.”

 Not everyone is moved by poetry and love stories. Someone introduced me to a book : Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Some need gifts, others like services like cleaning or a tire change, others need words of affirmation the list goes on.

 Being with the dying, I know many feel it is the end of the world when someone dear to them dies. We continue, love continues. And our God touches us again through a song, a sight a word.

Happy valentines day to all of you!!

Jonette

Several years ago I was riding in a car with a few friends, parishioners from a church. Two of them began to talk, I don’t mean just a conversation. They talked so fast and furiously I was well, wanting to be somewhere else. Not that there was controversy or something debatable. It was just mindless chatter and I often feel my job is to listen intently. There was nothing too hear. Yet I was stuck in this car. Without thinking about it, apparently I was rubbing my head. One without taking a breath from her conversation said, “Oh, do you have a headache?” The other person’s spouse said, “If not, you will.” They didn’t catch that, just continued not stop rambling on and on. I thought to myself, “Next time take your own car to the restaurant.” 

A few years before that, I was having dinner with a group of people. Again they were going on about nothing. I guess I was rubbing my forehead with my head bowed (praying for escape) and someone said, “Oh, do you have a headache?” She handing me aspirin. I did not have a headache, but I took the aspirin rather than telling her I don’t handle small talk well. All conversations don’t have to stimulate me. I just find sometimes constant talk which simply fills the silence as not the best use of my time.

 I like television. I like to watch funny shows. And I really like the Big Bang Theory and House. I like the smart, subtle humor and the relationships in these two programs. One of the problems with so many channels and access 24/7 is a lot of constant chatter the air waves try to fill the void with words. Talk shows for me just talk too much. I have to simply turn it off.

 I am in a book club. Right now we are reading: Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life by Parker Palmer. In it he talks about being in communities or circles of trust as he names them where it is safe for the soul to show up. If there is too much constant conversation often the soul seems to go into hiding. It may not seem safe to share who we really are and the truth we know. Therefore our vocations, our time with family becomes divided. Palmer also says the soul in addition to being shy is akin to a wild animal. It is not domesticated. It is unpredictable and full of surprises.

 So if you see me rubbing my forehead and you want to help, don’t offer me an aspirin. Just sit in silence with me for awhile.

Jonette Gay

I have pondered the development of shingles lately. As many of you know shingles are painful sores. It is caused by the same virus as chicken pox. The chicken pox virus lives in nerve roots in our bodies for years in a dormant state. Then they reactivate.

So it is with emotional wounds. They may lie dormant for years. Then something causes the pain to resurface. You have heard the expression, “That hit a nerve.” Just as dormant chicken pox viruses lie dormant in nerve cells, our damaged emotions can become awakened when the nerve is hit. Something triggers past wounds and they inflame our hearts.   

Dormant emotional wounds don’t resurface in the form of blisters and sores, yet they do become visible. Anger may arise out of the blue. Or tears when we didn’t know we were still sad about a certain event or memory. 

Just as we treat with care a person who is suffering from the sores and blisters called shingles, so we are to treat ourselves or the ones we love when their past wounds become exposed.

 If someone’s words or actions cause us anger or hurt feelings, maybe we can look inside to see what has come out of hiding and seeks healing. Healing is not just for the body. Healing can also touch the soul. As I look at the dormant trees this winter, I know they are alive. The trees will find new life in the spring. The seasons of our heart may find dormant dis-ease or pain is longing for a voice. Our good God tabernacles in the pain to heal us and we wouldn’t want to miss that.

“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. ”Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ”And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?    Matthew 6:24-30

Watching birds this morning gave me cause to ponder. There they were doing what birds do, eating seeds, singing and flying. Birds are content because they are going about doing what birds do. 

Maya Angelou has written a book with a wonderful title: “I Know Why A Caged Bird Sings.” You know I wonder if the bird is singing because it is its only mode of communication and if we could translate it we would hear, “Get me out of here!” Just in a much more melodious sound than humans could ever speak. We have so many clichés in which I like to take a fresh look. What about, “When God closes a door look for a window.” I wonder if when God closes a door he doesn’t want you in that house. It has to do with whether we see it as trying to get in the house or out. Maybe the lack of welcome IS the freedom; consider the opportunity. 

The above words of Jesus are about worry of basic needs. Do any of you remember Anne Murray’s song from the ‘80’s: “Good News”? I recall this lyric:

Bryant Gumbel was talkin’ ’bout the fighting in Lebanon
Some senator was squawkin’ ’bout the bad economy
It’s gonna get worse you see, we need a change in policy

 There is nothing new yet the vast number of unemployed and hurting people is unprecedented since the 1930’s. Keeping with our bird theme, I like the word Murray used: “squawking”. Have you heard a raven speak, I guess you could say sing? We have much unhappy squawking today.  To such a crowd Jesus was speaking 2000 years ago. 

I like the words of the Apostle Paul, “Nothing present, nor things to come will be able to separate us from the love of God.” Nothing now nor in the future. This relieves much of my anxiety. 

I was struck by Jane Goodall’s interview on the Daily Show a few weeks ago. She was asked what we can learn from chimpanzees. I was thinking in terms of metaphor. Yet she lets chimps be chimps. She said they know their world is changing when they have to search for food, they just don’t know why. We have been given the ability to ponder why. The economy is complex. So much of it is speculation and not concrete where we can see it clearly. Much work is yet to be done. 

In the meantime consider the lilies and the sparrows.

 May we find the voice to sing, reasons to hope and new found freedom to soar.

 Jonette Gay

What a glorious day today is. We celebrate one of the greatest American prophets, Martin Luther King, Jr. I went to the King Center in Atlanta a few years ago. I remember watching one of their videos. In it they quoted a text from the book of Genesis about Joseph, the dreamer. If you know the story you know Joseph’s brothers didn’t like his dreams so they said, “Let us slay him and see what becomes of his dream.”

 His dream blossomed, expanded, ignited the hearts of so many and has become a reality in lives. Just as Joseph overcame being sent into slavery by his own family, King’s dream lives on, and may have even become stronger in death. Today we have an African American president, what a gift king was to many like President Obama. What a gift he was to us, leading the way, pushing us to live out of our best instead of our worst.

 MLK was only 39 when he was killed. He was able to accomplish more than most have living many more years. Jesus was only 33 yrs old. Many times the messenger is killed thinking that will destroy the message. 

King’s last sermon was so moving. Those of us who have been preaching for years only “dream” of delivering a message with such passion, such conviction. His message moved through the years. God asked him which age he would like to live in and he moved in words to Egypt, to Greece. Different places and different times looking at the social climate of the era and the great thinkers who lifted humans up beyond their lowest despair and behaviors. 

These are hard times. Haiti is suffering from the earthquake damage and many, many are responding with aid and hope. Years ago I remember a parishioner in a Bible study said to me, “Why does God favor the poor? Do you think God favors the poor?” I was young, only in my 20’s and I wanted to assure her. Now I would answer, “Yes, God favors the poor.” Luke’s gospel reminds us “blessed are the poor.” He doesn’t have it spiritualized the way Matthew does in “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” God does indeed respond to the poor. We have a tendency to lose sight of the vision of God. For those who bring justice to the forefront like Martin Luther King, jr. I am grateful.

I visit with many people who are dying. I say prayers with the family and friends at the death of loved ones. I have been thinking fondly lately of memories.

Memories can be such a gift. I remember many things. Detailed verbatim conversations stay with me for not just days but years. I like to talk about memories sometimes with those who were there and sometimes with anyone who will listen. 

I was in an interview when asked about examples in work. After I finished he said, “You really recall details. What do you do with all those memories?” Then I remembered something from 20 years ago and shared with a family member who said, “What do you do with all these memories? How do you let your mind rest?” These 2 conversations happened in the same week. 

I try to remember things without remembering them against me. I don’t want memory to be about regret. Sometimes we do need to share something to make amends with someone we hurt. Then we can move on forgiven and free. We have scripture that says God remembers our sins no more. I don’t think God knows less than we do. I think God no longer remembers them against us if we seek forgiveness and give forgiveness.

 I am reminded of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s words, “In the end its not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends we will remember.” 

Often when someone is abused, falsely accused, fired, or many other forms of betrayal friends remain silent to protect their job, their standing, their own skin. Then I, like King, remember. Maybe that too will someday dissipate (when age catches up with me and I become more forgetful.)

 Barbra Streisand’s words from “The Way We Were” stand out :

Memories, may be beautiful and yet
Whats too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget

So its the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember…
The way we were…

This is the time in the church year we celebrate epiphany. The event we note is the magi following a star to find Jesus. Now it is the manifestation of God in our lives. Psychology understands epiphany as the “aha” moment in therapy. A time when one says, “oh, I get it.” Continuing with the astronomy theme Martin Buber wrote a book called Eclipse of God. He looks at why we are unaware of God. Why God may seem hidden to us. He notices an eclipse occurs between the sun and our eyes, not in the sun itself.

 So this darkness, the blindness, blinders, not seeing, is not God’s nature. Epiphany is a time we see the light of God and follow it. The story of the magi is fascinating. We aren’t sure who they were or how many. We know they came from the east. We know they went first to the religious folk. They knew the sign. They said the child shall be born in Bethlehem. It was written in their sacred text. Note, they did not bother going to look.

 What can we learn from these religious folk? Maybe knowing about something is not knowing or experiencing it. The prince of peace came into the world and we have tried to rewrite the story ever since. It is a great honor for our President Obama to be awarded the Nobel peace prize. While many religious people in our country are spewing racist venom at him, the world is noticing his concern for others and his willingness to listen. Religion claims to be about seeing God. Yet many use it as another eclipse to hide God from themselves and others. Instead of obstructing the view of God’s compassion, let us let God be God. Eclipsed by hatred, ignorance, rage, greed, arrogance, insecurity, fear we don’t see God.

Then the magi went to the government of the time. King Herod tried to trick them to return to him when they find the child saying he will then worship him. Herod wanted to be king and had no interest in a threat. So he used his military might to kill those he saw as a threat.

 May this epiphany season remove the eclipse that hides the brightness of God.

“Sting” was the featured musician this week on the CBS Sunday Morning Show. He said he has to adapt to different venues. When he is singing at a huge football stadium to a massive crowd he has to work to make this event an intimate experience for everyone there. When he sings to a small group in a pub or in a church where they can see the strings moving and the person up close behind the voice, he has to work to make this intimate setting an event.

 In a book by W. Paul Jones called: Spiritual Direction this theme emerged again in reference to introversion and extroversion. Jones states: “Extroverts need to explore the interiority of life. Introverts are well advised to discover the vastness of the Spirit’s intersection with billions of galaxies and surgings of oceans…Both are key in spiritual direction because the God who speaks to us in a “still small voice” is also the God incarnate in rendering all things events.”

 Sting may not have known it but he is speaking in theological terms we call Immanence and Transcendence. Immanence is the intimacy of God within us. Transcendence is the God beyond us. The great creator of the universe is also accessible and Jesus even said, “When you do it (visit the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger) to the least, you do it to me.” God is within us and God is greater than us at the same time.

 An “event” long ago, over 2000 years, is the reason for a celebration during Christmas. It has become intimate and personal for each of us. I felt that intimate, personal gift this weekend at a family reunion. I feel God’s love through the love of family. This week whether you are in the crowds of shopping malls, church services and family gatherings, or a small group of people you love, may the light of the season illuminate your experience into an intimate and important event.